Every married couple starts with the same vows, “for better or worse, in sickness and in health.” But once the honeymoon is over and life happens, those vows don’t always hold up to the ultimate test. If you think it may be time to call it quits on your marriage, you need to know this!
First off, understand that you’re not alone. According to statistics from 2019, 42% of all marriages in England and Wales end in divorce. The official number of 2020 divorces in the U.K has yet to be released. But the number of petitions filed has increased by 8%, and in the first week of January alone, 230% more people used the search term “I want a divorce.”
Only YOU and your partner can decide if your marriage is salvageable or dead. It’s a hard decision to make. But if you find yourself wishing there was a sign that it was the right decision, here are the 7 most common signs that your marriage is over:
1. One Of You No Longer Feels The Need To Make An Effort
Married life isn’t easy! Couples are often faced with challenges that BOTH have to be committed to solving. Marriage is supposed to be a partnership, after all. If either of you isn’t fully committed to making things work, the “for better or worse” agreement is broken.
If either of you has no interest in marriage counseling or have forgotten “that spark” with no desire to rekindle it, divorce may be likely. These are signs of pent-up resentment. If you can’t work together to get past these issues, it may be time to go your separate ways.
2. You Dread Spending Time Together
Newlyweds spend almost every waking moment together. The relationship is still exciting and new. Once the honeymoon is over, it’s normal to need some space, alone time, or even feel some extent of boredom. But actively putting effort into avoiding face-to-face time with your partner means something is wrong!
Sure every couple fights, sharing a living space isn’t always easy. But when you dread going home after work or spending weekends at home because it means time with your spouse, this is a red flag.
If you feel this way, it’s vital to assess the reason and how long it’s been going on. Because a marriage on life support is not much of a marriage. No one should ever have to feel uneasy in their own home. If you do, it’s probably time to make a decision and pull the plug.
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3. You Feel Alone When You’re With Your Partner
After a while of living the everyday married life, affection, closeness, and connection are acknowledged less often. Feeling a little overlooked or unheard at times is not uncommon. But if you or your partner are directly neglecting each other’s emotional needs, that can lead to loneliness and is a major issue.
Many issues could be causing the distance in your relationship. You should never feel more alone with your partner than when you’re alone. Talking about it with your partner is the best first step for solving this problem. But if this obstacle isn’t something you can overcome together or only one of you cares to address it, that may mean your marriage is over.
4. There Is A Noticeable Lack Of Sexual Intimacy
Sure, there will be some decline in sexual desire the longer you’re married. Sex just becomes less exciting than it was during the newlywed years. And yes, every couple goes through dry spells here and there, especially when life gets crazy, or you have children.
Also, differences in each individual’s sexual desire can occur as the marriage progresses. This can even be normal with age. It’s when the desire is completely gone, sex just doesn’t work, or becomes more work than it’s worth that should cause alarm.
For a healthy marriage, this is something you should be able to talk about openly and resolve. But when one of you shuts down or stonewalls, that is a signal that the marriage may already be over.
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5. You Stop Fighting
Merging two lives into one isn’t as easy as the movies make it seem. Arguments and fighting are inevitable in any relationship and can be expected. Believe it or not, disagreements and their resolutions are a sign of a healthy relationship.
Of course, arguing should decrease later in the marriage. But if the fighting completely stops, that is rarely a sign of marital bliss. Arguments arise out of passion and emotion. If ALL the arguing stops, that may mean there is no passion left in the relationship. And that one of you feels as though life together is no longer worth fighting for. Which can spell the relationship’s end.
6. You Doubt Yourself Or Your Happiness
As life progresses, new responsibilities are sure to enter your life. Maybe one or both of you start a new career, have children, or get a new home. These changes can cause stress and strain your relationship. The problem arises when you’re no longer a priority to your partner, or worse yet, are devalued by them.
If your partner is constantly putting you down, it has a horrible effect that extends into every aspect of your life. It can rob you of your confidence, happiness and cause self-doubt. Then in many cases, your partner may even try to make you feel like it is all your fault. This is a common form of psychological abuse and a sign that you need to get out of the relationship.
7. Constantly Imagining Yourself Being Single Or With Someone Else
This is a massive red flag! It’s one of the most severe signs because this daydreaming usually happens when your relationship makes you feel hopeless (even if you won’t admit it or don’t realize it).
You may keep telling yourself you don’t want to get divorced or think you’re not ready to end the marriage. But the truth is if you’re experiencing this, it will likely lead to an affair. Which usually causes an unnecessarily messy divorce.
So if you’re the one doing the daydreaming, it is up to you to make the choice and lead the way to marriage counseling or divorce proceedings!
No one should ever struggle with confusion over whether they should stay or go. If you’re living with one or more of these signs, there is a good chance you already know your marriage is broken. The question you have to answer for yourself is: “Why do I stay in this relationship?”
If it is time to leave, divorce doesn’t have to be scary or expensive, and you don’t have to go through it alone. David T. Wade is here to help take all of the uncertainty out of the process.
Our firm offers affordable, high-quality divorce services that are fast and affordable. With our upfront pricing, you’ll know exactly what it will cost, with no hidden surprise fees later.
You don’t have to be stuck. Find out what we can do for you. Book Your Free, No-Obligation Call Today Here.